


Finality

by liminoid



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst and Porn, M/M, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:56:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liminoid/pseuds/liminoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kink meme prompt: Kaz confronts Big Boss post-TPP. Obviously contains spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finality

Kaz was sick of flying. Making a martyr out of himself meant he couldn't even read anything properly any more without intense squinting, so books were out of the question in keeping him occupied – it just gave him a headache. Armed with only Venom's Walkman and a few tapes that he had sent him off with to keep Kaz company, he was antsy from all this waiting. At least the view from the helicopter had been more interesting than the clouds from the aeroplanes, he thought to himself as it neared a clearing amongst the sea of tightly-packed trees. Towering barbed wire fences surrounded a compound littered with construction materials, scaffolding and temporary huts. A jolt of worry ran through Kaz's stomach when he saw a figure peering up at the sky from the helipad. It was definitely him. He slung his fraying canvas bag over his shoulder and braced himself for the landing.

Kaz flinched away when Snake offered his arm. He wouldn't let this man help him, not any more. Snake's hand moved to scratch the skin under his beard before he spoke.

“Miller.” 

“Snake. So you are here then.” Kaz replied. 

“Yeah... You look like you could do with some rest. Follow me.”

Kaz scoffed, but complied. Walking together through the compound in silence, the setting sun reflected golden light onto the dust and sand that billowed around them as they made their way to... wherever Snake was taking them. It was essentially a huge building site, soldiers wearing red berets drove past them in forklifts and trucks full of girders, bricks, dry cement mix. They finally reached their destination: one of the few completed buildings that Kaz assumed to be the living quarters. Once they'd gone through several sets of security-carded doors, Snake stopped in front of a room and turned to face Kaz.

“You can stay here, use this to get in.” he fished out a card from his pocket and opened the door, motioning to another one inside the room. “It's reserved for higher ranking officers, so there's a bathroom with a shower attached if you need it.”

“I'm not staying long.” Kaz stated.

“Surely you'll still need to take a piss some time before you leave.” Snake quipped with a smirk, but Kaz's face remained the same – hostile eyes glowering from behind his sunglasses. Snake's smile faded and he continued talking. “My office is in this block too. Four rooms down. I've set aside some time for us to talk today.” 

“OK.”

Snake sighed and rubbed under his eye-patch.

“Before I go, do you need anyth-”

“No!” Kaz snapped, “I don't need your help. I'll come by your office later.”

He watched as Snake shrugged his shoulders, placing the card-key on the small, metal desk that sat across from the bed on his way out. His uniform was wrong, emblazoned with what looked like a golden “ZL” as far as Kaz could tell.

The room felt like a prison cell with its grey, unpainted breeze-block and minuscule window. Kaz felt a surge of homesickness for the open decks and sea air of Mother Base. Shaking his head, he leaned against the wall to take his bag off and drop it on the floor, then kicked open the bathroom door. The whole room was tiled, no curtain or sliding doors separating the shower from the sink and toilet. He huffed as he caught sight of of a shower stool in the corner, bright white and clearly unused. He hadn't said anything about the limbs he'd lost to Snake when he'd arranged this visit, so Ocelot must have told him about it. For a moment, Kaz believed that Snake actually did care about his well-being, but the thought was quickly replaced by the usual anger. As if he gave a shit after all that he'd done.

Kaz returned to the bed, sitting down to undress himself. Maybe a shower would calm him down a little. In spite of his feelings and earlier outburst, he still wanted to keep this meeting as civil as he could. He was here for closure and nothing more. After this, Big Boss would be out of his life until the time came for his revenge. Once David was old – and strong – enough, then he could show him just what your entire life slipping from you felt like. But for now, Kaz had to wait. He made his way back to the shower and made use of the stool begrudgingly, removing the prosthesis from his calf and chucking it into a corner where it would be kept dry. He tried to relax as he scrubbed away the grime accumulated from all the traveling. Keep yourself together, keep it civil, he thought, tilting his face up into the stream of almost-scalding water.

* * *

Kaz announced his arrival to Snake's office with a call of his name from the corridor. Once the door was opened for him, Kaz hobbled towards the chair in front of the desk in the middle of the office and seated himself, leaning his crutch against the dark wood. Snake sat down, shoving papers to the side to rest his elbows on the desk.

“So, what exactly did you come here for, Kaz?”

Kaz bit the inside of his cheek and took off his sunglasses, placing them next to the black, clunky Amstrad screen on the desk, letting Snake see the full extent of the damage on his eyes.

“I'm here to tell you that I won't be working with you to build...” he waved his hand in a sweeping gesture, “whatever this is here. Your real Outer Heaven, I suppose. I'm not on your side anymore.”

Snake raised an eyebrow.

“Won't be working with me? You flew half way across the world just to tell me that?”

Not even one single iota of regret or remorse graced his words. A switch flipped and Kaz's mind went blank with rage - everything else he'd planned on saying flew from his head. He slammed his fist on the desk and stood up, shoving his face close to Snake's.

“FUCK YOU!” Kaz bellowed, “Fuck you, Snake! You used me to clean up the colossal, god-dammed mess _you_ made, and you're just- just sitting there as if nothing has happened?! As if you've done nothing wrong.”

Snake didn't flinch, didn't move while Kaz screamed into his face.

“I lost _everything_.” he glanced down at where his right arm would be, “I lost everything so you could follow through with your fucking ridiculous plan. You threw away everything _we_ had... And that medic who saved your life, you repay him by moulding him into your image, all so you could go undetected. You know, he's done some unspeakable things, but honestly? You're worse. Is this what you think _she_ wanted?”

Kaz took a deep breath, his entire body shook and his bared teeth were clenched together. Snake just looked up at him with that unreadable expression of his.

“I'm sorry, Kaz.” Snake finally said.

“You're- you're sorry.” Kaz let out a delirious laugh, “You're fucking sorry? Oh, I don't think so. It's too late for that now.”

Snake still stared, though now with a strange softness in his eye.

“I'm sorry.”

Kaz couldn't take it any more. In a split second he found himself leaning forward with his lips pressed against Snake's, forceful and angry. He pushed his tongue into the other's mouth, running it along Snake's own, and finished the kiss with a sharp bite to his lower lip. When he pulled back, they were both breathing heavily, Snake's seemingly impenetrable wall of calmness finally broken down.

“I hate you.” He let his forehead fall against Snake's and repeated himself, his voice a little lower this time. “ _I hate you._ ”

Snake swallowed away the lump in his throat, hoping to avoid any cracks in his voice.

“C'mon, Kaz.” He gave a gentle nudge and stood up himself.“C'mon.”

The flutter in the pit of his stomach knew exactly what that tone of voice meant, and had Kaz been in a better state of mind he would have outright refused. But his former plan of civility had already been lobbed out of the window at full speed, so hey, what harm could this do? He hissed a “fine” and grabbed his crutch, following Snake out of the office and into his personal quarters.

* * *

They laid side by side on Snake's bed, sheets crisp and clean, rutting up against each other with groping hands. Insistent tongues pressed into wide-open mouths, hearts beating faster with every roll of their hips. Finally feeling Snake after so long – no extra shrapnel scars, no fragments lodged in his head - tense under his touch sent goosebumps over Kaz's skin. It made him realise just how much he needed this.

“Turn over.” Kaz growled, and Snake obeyed, rolling to face away from him.

He reached his arm around to the front of Snake's trousers, unfastening them, pulling them down along with his briefs, just enough, doing the same with his own. At this point, Kaz couldn't give two shits about comfort, so he just spat in his hand and used that to loosen Snake's asshole, pushing two fingers in and out roughly. He continued this for a few minutes and then pulled them out completely, wiping them on the sheets before spitting again and running his hand over his dick, repeating the action a couple more times. It was uncomfortable, entering Snake with his piss-poor preparation, but the physical pain helped to distract from the mess his head was in. Plus, a small voice in the back of his mind hoped that Snake was hurting too.

Kaz sank his teeth into Snake's shoulder, dug his nails into his waist as he thrust into him carelessly. In between his groaning, Snake suddenly reached his arm back to hold his hand over Kaz's - the finality of the situation seeming to plunge him into a frenzy.

“Kaz. Kaz I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want it to turn out-” he interrupted himself with a harsh grunt as Kaz drove into him harder, “Didn't want it to turn out like this. Kaz, I still lo-”

“Don't,” he batted Snake's hand away and moved his own up, over Snake's throat, then closed the distance between them further, mumbling into Snake's ear: “Don't say it.” His words were thick with sorrow. 

It wasn't enough to cause too much pain, he was able to breathe, and though Kaz had said he hated him earlier he couldn't feel it in his touch, couldn't hear it in his voice. There was a tenderness still present between them that made this all the more upsetting. 

“I- I love you too.” Kaz whispered.

His fingers gripped tighter around Snake's neck as his thrusts became more frantic and his breathing more ragged. Snake gave a strangled yelp and his eyes snapped open at the growing pressure around his larynx. He began bucking back onto Kaz, his moaning intensifying, and the sound of Snake's croaky voice sent him over the edge. Muscles convulsed and hips juddered- Kaz came with an anguished cry.

After a short while, Snake shuffled forward to remove Kaz, feeling his insides hurt without the pleasure masking the sting. He rolled onto his back and pulled his clothes back into their original positions; Kaz lifted his head.

“You're not gonna...?” he trailed off.

“No.”

“Oh.”

Kaz sat up to discard his clothes onto the floor. Once he was done, he brought what was left of his leg to rest over Snake's, nestling his head on the other's shoulder. Fingers threaded through Kaz's still damp hair, massaging his scalp. Letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, he offered one last piece of his mind.

“Snake, what you've taken from me... I'll never forgive you for any of this.”

He anticipated the candour of his statement to cut deep, but Snake's reply was just frustratingly understanding.

“ _Yeah, I know._ ”


End file.
